Squirrels are so disrespectful. I mean, didn’t they see the sign that says no trespassing? The question really is, how do you get them to stop digging holes and destroying your lawn?
That waterskiing squirrel you saw online was cool. Naturally, you assumed all squirrels were just as brilliant. You had to learn the hard way. And now your yard is full of holes dug by those “adorable” critters.
Let’s get real. Squirrels are lame. Like, totally losers. And they’re so disrespectful. I mean, didn’t they see the sign that says no trespassing?
Here’s the reason squirrels dig holes. Because they’re squirrels. Potentially, very bored squirrels.
But who the heck cares really. You don’t care about Sammy the Squirrel’s problems. The question really is, how do you get him to stop?
Horrible No-Good Ways to Get Rid of Squirrels That Will Surely Backfire
Up until now, you’ve probably tried to get rid of squirrels in less than effective ways. This might have included any of the following -
Throwing beer cans at them, only to realize you’ve just thrown away the beer.
Getting your dog to chase them but get distracted by his tale..or a bug.
Cursing at them, and then having to explain to your 4 year old why daddy used a bad word.
Hexing them, only to realize you suck at witchcraft.
At this point, squirrels basically assume that they’re Roadrunner to your Wile E. Coyote. They know they’ll win. But it’s fun to have you run around like an idiot.
6 Ways to Protect Your Lawn from Squirrels
To be effective and protect your lawn from these pests, you need a plan that really addresses the reason squirrels are in your yard in the first place. And after you remove temptation, you need to create further incentive for squirrels to stay out permanently. Hint: a stop sign isn’t gonna cut it.
1. Remove the grubs
You might not think much of grubs. But your local squirrels most likely think differently. When they hear the word grub, they think buffet.
Grubs are full of calories and nutrition for hungry squirrels. When they see grubs, it’s kind of like you eying a fat, juicy steak. The temptation is just sitting there! All those tasty grubs, going to waste!
So get rid of those grubs, or you’ll likely never be rid of those squirrels. Try some nematodes or some milky spore if you want to go the natural way. Or if you’re looking to just blast them out, there are many effective chemical options.
2. Reconsider that bird feeder
That bird feeder was supposed to be part of your tranquil home oasis. But your feeder might be attracting the wrong customers. In fact, it is likely the local watering hole for many neighborhood squirrels.
You don’t want to leave food lying around. Squirrels love food. And when they stop by for a snack, they’ll probably do some digging to pass the time.
If you can’t live without your birdie friends, get a squirrel proof feeder. Or serve food that only birds, but not squirrels love. Something like safflower seeds.
3. Plant a menu that squirrels hate
There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re getting a burger, only to realize you’ve been duped with kale. You probably won’t go to that restaurant again. And that’s how your squirrels will react if you plant the right flowers.
Daffodils, geraniums, hyacinth, and lily of the valley are all flowers that squirrels won’t enjoy. Plant them in spring. Not only do they taste horrible, but squirrels hate their smell. You won’t need to convince them further to move to another lawn.
4. Maintain hedges and bushes
We humans can crave wide open space. But not your squirrel invader. Thick vegetation is like an open invitation for the squirrel community to camp in your yard. You’re practically rolling out the red carpet for them.
So make sure to trim those hedges and bushes regularly. Now you’ve gotten rid of their shelter. And hopefully, that will give them the hint that it’s time to pack up, and camp out with some other unsuspecting sucker.
5. Spray deterrents
Look, not everyone is good at taking a hint. Kind of like that house guest who doesn’t budge after you’ve done everything but physically carry them to the door. Sometimes, you have to be painfully blunt.
When you get to that point, you may want to consider spray deterrents. Spray these in the areas where your rude guests tend to congregate. And make sure to re-spray frequently, especially after it rains.
And don’t forget good, old-fashioned water. A well placed sprinkler can support your squirrel eviction policy.
6. Stop trapping them.
If you’ve been trying to trap squirrels, stop. You’re being a Wile E. Coyote again. You might feel victorious for a minute or two. But that thrill of victory will be short lived.
You can trap squirrels until you’re blue in the face. But until you move the temptation, they’ll be back. And next time, they’ll bring their nieces, nephews, great uncle, and their 16 cousins.
Make your lawn a totally uncool place to hang out. All the cool squirrels will know that your property is super lame. And then the party will move elsewhere.
After all, it was never like you to care about popularity. Well, at least when it comes to squirrels. Let them go dig elsewhere. You’ve got a yard to enjoy.
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